I am a girl, and so I have lots of questions…here they are
Whose gratification are you living to fulfill? Whose happiness are we taking into consideration? What would happen if we stopped “petting” ourselves (ex. Excessive concern with appearance, place in society, benefits of friendships, opinions of people, praise and approval from people, etc)? What would it look like if instead of the easy route, we decided to practice a little self-deprivation?
I want to ask my sisters, what would happen if we stopped caring about our appearances and instead focused all that time and energy into giving up of ourselves in motivation of worshipping our God and Father?
I have once again become entranced with God’s idea of a beautiful woman. It is found throughout scripture, but Proverbs 31 is especially detailed. For example…
“Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” Proverbs 31:29-31
As I look at this verse line-by-line, it confirms that, yes, many daughters will have done “good,” things. Even sinners can perform charitable works. But God says that YOU (the Proverbs 31 woman) excel them all. Why? Because their (non God-fearing women) charm is deceitful (they use it as a means to an end…to get what they want whether it be praise, adoration, money, friends, or a husband). Their beauty is in vain because their focus was merely outward beauty, not beauty of the heart. They will grow old and their luxurious hair, soft skin, and well-kept figure will be replaced with old age and bitter hearts. BUT (one of the most promising words in the Bible!) a woman who fears the Lord (honors Him, reverences Him, respects Him, adores Him, seeks to increase Him, could all be placed here) shall be praised. Though her body will also grow old and feeble, her beautiful heart will only be all the more magnified! My favorite part of the verse is this: she works hard. She probably does not have soft, lovely hands that have never touched a dirty pot, or harvested a muddy garden, or tended to the poor, or showed mercy to the unbelieving (“…the product of her hands”). By reading the former part of Proverbs 31, one can clearly see that this virtuous woman was a quite the feminine laborer! Also, her own works praise her (“…let her works praise her in the gates”). She needs not voice her charity or put her good works on display - she simply does her work because of joy for her Lord, without considering her reward. Those that she has helped, those that she has comforted, the meals she prepared for the sick, the clothes she made for her family and the poor, the orphans she cared for, all of these things praised her, not her own voice.
Now, let’s compare this verse to our own lives…
I have been examining my heart and asking myself how much of what I do has an eternal perspective. I don’t simply mean “well, I am going to college to earn a degree to get a job to make money to”…what? What am I investing in that has significance in the lives of others? “Well, I develop friendships with others that give glory to God.” Great, but don’t I get something in return? Am I focusing only on the things that I enjoy doing and call that good works, or do I practice selflessness by doing things that I wouldn’t normally consider “worth my while?” How often do I feel the sting of sacrifice or self-deprivation?
For instance, a couple of weeks ago, as I was meditating on this, I asked myself what works I had been doing that could “praise me in the gates.” This summer I have scheduled more time for me to do things I wouldn't normally do. Yes, it takes work to live selflessly, especially in the States. But, looking back on previous summers, then, the time I had was all for me. Summer was for my benefit, my enjoyment, and I deserved it. Wow. What sin I had in my heart. No, I am thankful for the gift of trials God has given me. It has changed my perspective. But, I need more. I will always need more. Trials truly are a gift, and this understanding grows with every one of them. It is what God uses to mold us to be more like Him. I need to see more of my sin, I need to feel that sense of helplessness, I need to see hurting people, I need to get as close as I can to a sense of my depravity in order to continue to rediscover God’s ever-growing love. I need to break out of my comfort zone, go against the flow, and charge forth with assurance of God’s faithful protection and seize every opportunity to magnify His name. Break out. Go against. And, charge forth. Sounds like a Christian soldier to me!
So, this Proverbs 31 virtuous woman study is preparing me for such works. God is showing all of us, men too, what it looks like to be a hard working, sacrificing servant, and one who joyously gives every drop of himself for the glory of God.
“Examine me, O Lord, and try me; Test my mind and my heart…” Psalm 26:2
I have never felt more invigorated to love nonbelievers, to encourage the faint of heart, to work steadily when it seems hopeless, to fight on behalf of injustice, to stand strong within trials, to remain faithful during stress, to wash those dirty pots and pans, to clean those dirty houses, to answer those never-ending phone calls, to write those hundreds of papers and take those difficult tests than when I have evaluated my focus, adjusted my perspective, and invested in intimate time with my Husband. When I have intimately communicated with Him, is when I feel most ready to fight in His name. It won’t work any other way, not for the long run anyhow. Seeking other means of fulfillment always results in broken hearts, burnt-out bodies, and aggravated souls. Captivating each moment’s thoughts towards Christ is the essential ingredient to be a Proverbs 31 woman, for true beauty, even.
To me, the most attractive thing a man can do is live a life sold out for the ministry of and glorification of Jesus Christ. I don’t care about his outward appearance. I don’t care about how much money he has. I don’t care about whom he is friends with or how he fits in with society. I don’t care about if he likes dogs, or cats, or hiking, or if he is tall, or short, or fat, or thin, or if his eyes are blue or green or…whatever! These things do not matter when compared to God getting the ultimate glory! If he is a valiant warrior for our King and loves to sing Him praise and declare His name to the nations, if he seeks to give honor to his brothers and sisters in the name of Jesus, if he strives after moral purity and fights for justice with a merciful heart, if he works hard in the name of the Lord (in whatever he does!), if he gives respect even when it is undeserved…that is the most beautiful thing I could imagine.
So, if this is what my young heart is yearning for, then, what does this mean for me? It means, briefly, this: I want to be known as a woman consumed with the Lord, radiant with His love, and one who courageously fights for righteousness and virtue in all manners of life. It means I am striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman God considers beautiful. And, His approval is all I need.
May He give us the strength, the heart, the endurance, and the faith that it requires to live a life set-apart for His purpose. Amen to our Father and praise to His name for eternity - glory be to God in the highest!
So gratefully His,
Lady in Waiting
