Setting the Scene-God’s Unfaithful People:
“Bring charges against your mother, bring charges;
For she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband!
Let her put away her harlotries from her sight,
And her adulteries from between her breasts;
3 Lest I strip her naked
And expose her, as in the day she was born,
And make her like a wilderness,
And set her like a dry land,
And slay her with thirst…For their mother has played the harlot;
She who conceived them has behaved shamefully.
For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers”
Harlotry, wine, and new wine enslave the heart.
12 My people ask counsel from their wooden idols,
And their staff informs them.
For the spirit of harlotry has caused them to stray,
And they have played the harlot against their God.
Tonight I am up against Satan and all his demons.
Actually, I’m not up against him, I’m beneath his feet, crushed.
Tonight I am a scared, helpless child in need of comfort, love, forgiveness, and just a plan old hug. Tonight, I feel like a harlot.
Blunt, I know.
I commit adultery against my Husband every day. And, right now, I am feeling it keenly. The effects are choking. I replace my devotion to Him with devotion to idols. I am a disobedient wife. I feel stained and like my meager offerings of love are tainted by my sin. My prayers stop short because I can no longer lift my head. I can’t look Him in the eyes. I am so exposed. He knows, and I know that He knows. But He continues to call to me. Because He loves me.
The book of Hosea offers my wounded heart such hope and freedom. Christ tells the story of the sin of His people and their continuous betrayal and of His continuing grace, freedom, forgiveness, and love that He pours out. He pours out love to His helpless harlot-wife. He washes her hair, strokes her cheek, rubs her back, and kisses her neck. He treats her like His most precious possession…
God’s Continuing Love:
“ Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness,
And speak comfort to her.”
Can you see how this is the gospel? This is how our sin makes all of us look, whether we feel it or not. Because, truth is, we don’t always feel like the harlot that we are. Without Christ, we really don’t have anything good to offer Him, only leftovers of our adulterous heart, leftovers of our worn out bodies, and leftovers of our sin-hungry souls.
Each time I leave Him and then come back after acknowledging my sin, I am always enlightened with a new, clearer understanding of the gospel. I think that’s how it will always be. God is such a multi-dimensional, multi-faceted being that we cannot possibly know Him explicitly. So, He reveals a little more of Himself to us as He, breaks, disciplines, and molds us.
Be Confident in His Forgiveness:
“Come, and let us return to the LORD;
For He has torn, but He will heal us;
He has stricken, but He will bind us up
I admit that tonight my conviction is not the healthy kind. It is not the kind that motivates, but it cripples.
Although it is good for me to see myself as the harlot that I am without Christ, Satan often takes advantage of my conviction and pushes it over a cliff. This is conviction in my soul, and it is an unhealthy sort of conviction. It is one that condemns, and doesn’t lead me towards active repentance, but instead freezes me in fear and anguish. This sort of conviction is not from the Lord, but is another one of Satan’s tools to crumble me into useless dust. Satan is afraid of the power of Christ in me, and he is using every avenue he can to get me to listen to his lies.
“O Israel, return to the LORD your God,
For you have stumbled because of your iniquity;
2 Take words with you,
And return to the LORD.
Say to Him,
“ Take away all iniquity;
Receive us graciously,
For we will offer the sacrifices[a] of our lips…”
“And I will heal their backsliding…”
I have been encouraged to fight through this battle courageously and not shamefully. To not pitch tent in my shame, but to trek onward, and carry a load of new-found grace to rest my heart on at night.
But, I still feel ashamed at times. My heart ponders why He would choose to love me-Me, in all my ugliness, pride, selfishness, and sin. I don’t understand it. But I want to live it out and to give this same selfless love to others.
So, tonight I feared the darkness. The time of day when I have opportunities to actually sit and contemplate my actions, my choices, my words…my heart. I feared His presence, and the accusations I was sure to find my aimed direction, and the accusations I know I deserved. Instead, what did I find? I found love. I found forgiveness and adoration from my Husband who calls me His and who considers me one with His perfect Son. I found my King who whispered encouragement and kissed my tear-stained cheeks. I found One who loves me in all my weaknesses and sin. Instead of being disgusted at my scars, He cleanses them. That is the beauty of Him, He is aware of my depravity, but loves me anyway. This better than if He were to simply not notice or not acknowledge my state. To Him, I am His virgin bride, spotless.
Tonight I relish in His forgiveness and marvel at the love of my God. The sort of love that I am daily washed new in, and the same love that I am called to use towards others.
